


Food for the Soul

by mugen_ai3



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Image, Domestic, Food Issues, M/M, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 16:10:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11512857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugen_ai3/pseuds/mugen_ai3
Summary: Sho has some body image issues.Jun just loves the skin his lover is in.





	Food for the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> I aways want some SJ angst, not this kind though.  
> Self-betaed

The mirror was evil, camera angles were evil. Sho had a difficult time looking at his own reflection lately. “Fans” online had been talking about how fat he had gotten, and his mood was dampened to say the least. Sho was determined to remain professional, even during the food segments when he didn't want so much as a morsel to pass his lips, he still tasted what was put before him, and proclaimed it delicious. 

 

Some days passed and he would go hours without eating, sometime all day. Because of his schedule, it was easy to miss a meal or two, and snack. Some days Sho ran on coffee and determination.

 

Except when he worked with Arashi, one member or another would fuss over his health and wellbeing, as if they didn't live the caffeinated life as well. Some members were worse than others.

 

_ “Sho are you sleeping enough? Sleep is the most important thing in life.” _

 

Another would say:

 

_ “Sho you gotta get laid regularly, your pipes could get clogged, and you will become grumpy.” _

 

_ “More grumpy.” _

 

The other one joked, and Sho highly suspected those two were currently unclogging one another's pipes on a regular basis.

 

_ “Here. Eat this.” _

 

The last one would say, placing a bento on the table in front of him.

 

They were all caring, his band mates, coffee stimulated his body, and Arashi stimulated his determination.

 

_ I'll be at yours when you are done with drama shooting for the day.  _ Sho smiled big and cheesy when he checked his phone during a break. He quickly snapped a selfie of his lips puckered in the shape of a kiss to send back.

 

The camera had gotten his chin too, his chins to be exact. Sho quickly deleted that offensive shot, and tried again. This time he cropped the photo so that the kiss was the central focus.

 

_ Nice try Sakurai, but I'll need to see more.  _

 

_ Later okay, they are calling me on set. Good luck today!  _ Sho send a quick reply. He felt terrible for lying, as they still had at least a half hour of break time remaining. He just did not want his lover to see him like this. 

 

It wasn't until, an assistant came to get him for the next scene that Sho realized he had been absentmindedly stroking his chin--chins. Because the poor assistant, on an effort to help, tried to help in wiping invisible food away. Sho snapped at the poor kid that there was nothing there.

 

Sho’s stomach growled as he passed the craft services table, maybe he would grab some fruit when they weren't shooting scenes that included him.

 

_ I know you didn't eat properly today, so I cooked dinner for you. _

 

A text was waiting for him when he powered up his personal phone after filming ended  (Luckily it wasn't too late) He had a feeling this was the case; Sho always looked forward to meals prepared by Jun.

 

Not that he much felt like eating, however the banana and few grapes had hot done the trick. Sho just thought--no expected something different from a late night visits from Jun, but self image was a hellava thing when it could kill his food, and Jun cravings.

 

He drove home in a daze, pulled into his building’s parking garage, and hoisted his bag onto his shoulder.

 

Before he can get the key in the lock, Jun opened the door, with a big smile and a “welcome home.”

 

Sho is dead tired, but seeing his lover is enough to perk him up anyway.

 

Shoes off, slippers on Sho finally stepped into his apartment, he can smell various aromas coming together for what he's expected would a delicious concoction. But he's not even three full steps inside, and he feels Jun's full lips on his, the taller man’s body completely invaded his space. Sho hooked one arm around Jun’s slim waist, and let his bag slide down his other arm, it hits the floor with a dull thud.

 

“I missed you.” Jun whispered hotly against Sho’ lips when they stopped for air.

 

Sho moaned as a reply. He too missed these moments alone, he was scarcely permitted to touch his band mate Matsumoto Jun in the public eye, but that made the time with  _ his  _ Jun more treasured.

 

The pair of them remained in the intimate embrace for a few more minutes, before disentangling. Jun left Sho to have his bath, and once again alone with his thoughts.

 

In the bath Sho pulls at his thighs, he noted the jiggle of his butt, the flab on his arms, he feels defeated...maybe it wouldn't be this bad if his weight weren't yo-yo-ing in front of the nation. And the older he got the more difficult it was to stay in shape.

 

Sho can't say how long he's been in the bath, but enough time has passed for Jun to come knocking. 

 

“Your reheated dinner is getting cold.”

 

“I'll be out in a minute.”

 

Jun is tidying up when Sho emerged from his bedroom, hair still damp, wearing grey sweatpants, and a light blue loose-fitting t-shirt.

 

“You look so sexy,” Jun said simply, in a way that you want to accept as fact.

 

“I don't think so.” Sho mumbled back.

 

Sho could have sworn a looked of bewilderment crossed his lover’s face, accompanied by a questioning arch of his thick eyebrow, but it passed quickly and Jun was ushering Sho toward his dinner.

 

It's pasta, the sauce has bacon, and mushrooms, and steamed asparagus. It looked mouth-watering, it is the kind of dish that Sho would normally devour and ask for more. He picked at the asparagus.

 

Sho is aware that Jun is watching, so he hefted a fork full of pasta up and shoots his boyfriend a grin, when he forked the now lukewarm food in his mouth, he chews once before saying “it's delicious!” Not at all different from they way they fake it on variety shows.

 

“That's it!” Jun said, not exactly yelling, but definitely pissed. “What is going on?” There is a flash of something Sho is scared to name behind his boyfriend's eyes. Jun sighed, standing and began clearing the table.

 

Sho opened his mouth, then closed it again. He isn't one for being at a loss for words.

 

“Don't tell me yet, but Sho I promise you we're going to talk about this. This is our only night together in weeks, and I'm not going to spend it like this.” Jun is deadly serious, and Sho knows the younger idol is right. He could temper-out on his boyfriend--it has happened before. It doesn't get them anywhere and the tension will linger until one of them breaks to apologize, and Sho  _ needs _ Jun. more than that, they are more mature than that used to be.

 

Dishes are clanging, Sho excused himself and goes to sit on his bed, listening.

 

He lied back resting his head on a pillow, waiting for the symphony of anger to subside. 

 

Tears burn in Sho’s eyes, this is yet another thing that had gone wrong. He ruined their night together. But how could he even begin to explain what was going on in his head to Jun? Jun, who always looks good, hell, looking good is one of Jun’s hobbies. 

 

Sho let the unshed tears fall, more out of frustration than sadness, and exhaustion.

 

If Leader only knew how tired he actually was. Sho tried not to think about Aiba and Nino’s relationship, Aiba isn't as private as him and Jun. Nino is tight-lipped which is why Sho only suspects they have a thing.

 

Finally the sad tears fall. Simple times were truly a thing of the past.

 

It's quiet, but Jun doesn't come. 

 

Sho doesn't know when he fell asleep, but two arms embracing him from behind snapped him out of his dreams. The digital clock’s LED display comes into focus and reads 11:30.

 

“I’m sorry.” He wanted to make things right before the arrival of the next day.

 

“Sho I've known you forever, you don't apologize first. What's going on?” Jun sounds tired, and Sho is hesitant to get into the weight of it all at this hour.

 

He sighed again, Jun is stroking his back gently, and the whole truth pours out. Something about the safety of Jun's embrace gave him comfort. This man is his lover, his friend, his solace.

 

Jun listened, never interrupting, always providing an assuring touch. 

 

When Sho is finish speaking it's past midnight.

 

Silence fills the room

 

He thinks Jun has fallen asleep.

 

“Please don't be angry.” He begged into the darkness.

 

“I'm not,” Jun said. “I am just worried for you.”

 

Relief washed over Sho, like a warm trickle from his head to his toes.

 

“Don't worry, I'll figure this out.”

 

“You? I hate to break it to you love, but you haven't been doing such a great job of handling this on your own.”

 

Jun shifted in bed, then the warmth of the other’s body was suddenly gone. The click of a lamp punctuated the quiet of the room.

 

Brightness  assaulted his already sensitive eyes, Sho turned to face his lover. Resting his head on his head. Jun looked beautiful, as always he was wearing a pair of pajama pants that he kept over at Sho’s place, and from the looks of it, that was all.

 

As Sho watched Jun’s broad chest heaved up and down, Jun was emotional. 

 

Sho reached out and put a hand on a now sitting Jun’s knee, giving it a little squeeze.

 

“I am biased Sho, but to me you are perfect...what is a kilo or two? And I promise you that all it is. I love you all the time, but when you fill out like this…” Jun let his hand drop to Sho's cheek, and trailed down his neck, shoulders, chest, waist, it lingered on his bum a bit and Sho was already blushing when before Jun have his but a firm squeeze. “...I can't keep my eyes or hands off you.”

 

More warmth spread over and through Sho. This had to be that kind of “you complete me” kind of love.

 

“Please help me take care of you Sakurai.”

 

“Okay.” Sho said. It's all he can say, he's become emotional again.

 

“Promise me, Sho.” Jun's hand is now resting on the one Sho is resting on the younger man’s knee.

 

“I promise.”

 

Sho doesn't think his heart can get any more full, but when Jun declared that he wanted to “worship Sho’s perfect body” the older man thought he'd burst, he also burst out in a fit of giggles.

 

Jun's tongue was masterful, fingers were deft, Ever the perfectionist, he required feedback, Sho was definitely singing the younger man’s praises. After many murmured sweet nothings, and preparation Sho was ready, he felt the two orgasm Jun coaxed out of him, while beautiful and appreciated, was a little bit selfish. Jun entered Sho slowly, holding him close, and telling him that he is everything, wonderful, talented, the absolute fucking love of his life.

 

All the while, Jun's strokes were gentle, long, and deep, Sho could have taken more, he could have taken it rougher, but the sex was fantastically mind blowing like this. Every sensation was amplified. Even after multiple orgasms his body was still buzzing.

 

Jun kisses him deeply, as his strokes became more erratic, “Fuck Sho.” He moaned, groaning through the waves of orgasm.

 

It's probably around 3 a.m. when Sho fell asleep, he had lain in bed listening to Jun's sleep-breathing, feeling like if Jun, his friends, family, and fans could accept him the way he was, he could too. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
